You Said It…
You Said It…. and I Wrote It Down!
“I didn’t know the two men who slept in my bed!” -Jenna G.
“I need a bowl of crack” -Annon.
Katie C (to Melissa): “Your Blood is his blood”….. Luke M (drunk): “Yea, but mine’s a little polluted.”
“You can relax all day if you sit.” -Luke M (drunk)
“The spike is caked.” -Luke M (drunk)
“If all else fails, do stuff…. that ummmm….. wont fail.” -Derek
“Think! Think! Think like Stupid Tom!” -Tom H
Melissa (on how to market condoms that are stored in a refrigerator): “How to stop an erection COLD”
“I love the smell of porn in the morning”-Tom H
“I feel like my boob is on show.” -Jenna G
“I have to measure her butt later.” -Grandma K
“Communication, It’s just words.” -Melissa G
Jason to Colin: “You’re Naked!” Colin B: “No, I’m not!”… he really was!
“We’re going to kill you, cook you, and serve you in your home.” -Jason G. on turtle soup served in turtle shells
“You made my underwear fall on the floor.” -unknown, we dont remember th context of the quote, but it’s not what you would think.
“I was like a swollen duck!” -Michelle M.
“It tastes to good, but it feels so bad!” -Derik
“You git what you git and you don’t throw a fit.” -Colin B
“I sleep with two women!” -Anon. (referring to his wife who argued with herself while she was sleeping)
“Must use power of thighs!!!” -Jenna G.
“I want a Woody!” (a Woody doll from Toy Story) -Melissa G.
Q: What was the animal that Pocahontas rode while singing “Round the River Bend?”… Jenna G.: “John Smith!! Oh wait….”
“Look, you can put your hand down my shirt… just don’t pinch my nipple!”-Michelle M. to her 1+ year old son.
“I’ll let you in my shirt… that sounded bad!” -Jenna G.
“Matthew, who lives at church?”… “Jesus!”… “Who also lives at church?”… “SANTA!” -Matthew E.
“At some point I took off my shirt, but I dont remember when.” -Melissa G.
“Hey, there’s a fruit snack in my bra!” – Melissa G.
“Did I take a shower? Oh yep… my hair is wet.” – Melissa G.
“I live two floors below them, I wonder what happens above me!” – Jenna G.
“My ex-husband’s in prison… I’m so excited!” – Christiana
“My sausage is hot.” – Bill G.
“Oh, I think I am sitting on an Orcha (whale)” – Jason G.
“There is no time of the day in which a Slurpee is not appropriate.” – Jason G.
“It’s a good thing you’re cute, because if you were ugly you’d be in so much trouble!” – Meredith R.
