Then I heard a loud voice from the Halas Hall saying to the seven Bears, “Go, pour out the seven bowls of the Bears wrath on the Packers.”
The first Bear went and poured out his bowl on Soldier Field, and ugly, festering sores broke out on the people who had the mark of the Golden G and worshiped its image.
The second Bear poured out his bowl on Lake Michigan, and it turned into burnt orange like that of a Bears fan, and every living Packer near the sea died.
The third Bear poured out his bowl on the rivers and springs of water, and they became Navy Blue.
The fourth Bear poured out his bowl on the sun, and the sun was allowed to scorch only Packer fans with fire. They were seared by the intense heat and they cursed the name of Halas, who had control over these plagues, but they refused to repent and glorify him.
The fifth Bear poured out his bowl on the throne of Lombardi, and its team was plunged into darkness. People gnawed their tongues in agony and cursed Halas because of their pains and their sores, but they refused to repent of what they had done.
The sixth Bear poured out his bowl on the great river Chicago, and its water was dried up to prepare the way for the monsters of the midway from the lake front.
Then I saw three impure fans that looked like frogs; they came out of the mouth of the Rogers, out of the mouth of the Matthews and out of the mouth of the false prophet McCarthy. They are demonic fans that perform signs, and they go out to corners of the whole world, to gather all football fans for the battle on the great day of January 23rd, 2011.
“Look, I come like a thief! Blessed is the one who stays awake and remains warmly clothed, so as not to go naked and be shamefully exposed in this extreme cold.”
Then they gathered the players together to the place that in Chicagoian is called Soldiers Field.
The seventh Bear poured out his bowl into the cold air, and out of the owners box came a loud voice from the throne, saying, “It is done!”
Then there came flashes of fireworks, rumblings of feet, peals of confetti and a massive cheer. No cheer like it has ever occurred since mankind has been on earth, so tremendous was the noise. For it sounded like this: “Bear down Chicago Bears…”
The great state of Wisconsin split into three parts, and the cities of the state collapsed. Halas remembered Chicago the Great and gave her the trophy inscribed with the words “NFC Champions”.