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Today is the first day. Is it the first day of the rest of my life, as the saying goes? Possibly. I’d hate to think that my life didn’t start before today, but maybe this is the start of the next chapter. And that chapter is a very very long one.

I’ve always been heavy. My entire life has been one long diet or weight loss struggle. And I’ll talk about that as this blog continues. But not today. Today is about the Why. Why am I doing this? Why now?

This is the Why. My family. My husband deserves to have a wife who is happy with who she is, who is healthy and fit, and who will take care of herself and her family. My daughter deserves to have a mother that sees herself as beautiful and models that behavior. She deserves to grow up in a household where junk is not the norm and a sedentary lifestyle is non-existent. She deserves to NOT have to do this on her own in 30 years. I want to learn that I am strong enough to do this on my own. That I am in charge of my life, and that I have the control to conquer my fears (more on that in another post).

I am considered Morbidly Obese (Definition: a person who is 100+ lbs over their ideal weight or has a BMI of 40+). MORBIDLY obese. MORBID = DEATH. In 2007, we suffered both a miscarriage and an ectopic pregnancy. The doctor’s notes regarding my surgery with the ectopic indicated obesity as a contributing factor. While I don’t know how they know that, the fact that it was noted really bothered me. To think that I could have possibly caused that to happen, and thus almost caused my death. And according to the website by Obesity Action Coalition: The most common morbid obesity-related diseases include:

• High Blood Pressure
• High cholesterol
• Diabetes
• Heart disease
• Stroke
• Gallbladder disease
• Osteoarthritis
• Sleep apnea and respiratory problems
• Some cancers (endometrial, breast, and colon)

So, I could end up with cancer or diabetes or any number of conditions/diseases. And the 3 main contributors are behavior, environment and genetics. Well, I can’t do anything about genetics, unfortunately. But I can work on behavior and environment (and I’ll try to address each of these in future posts).

The How: I will weigh each week and measure once a month to keep myself accountable. Because I am still nursing, I will follow Weight Watchers program for Nursing Mothers right now. As she weans, I’ll reaccess. And I will strive to move every day. My goal will be a healthy 2# weight loss each week.

Day 1 Statistics:

Weight – 225#

BMI – 40

Measurements:

Chest: 50.5″

Waist: 41″

Hips: 50.75″

Right Thigh: 27.5″

Left Thigh: 28″

Right Arm: 15″

Left Arm: 15″

LONG TERM WEIGHT LOSS GOAL: 125 lbs (my healthy weight is between 121 and 135)

SHORT TERM WEIGHT LOSS GOAL: To lose 22 lbs – 10% of my current weight.

HEALTH GOAL: To eliminate that Morbidly Obese distinction from my record.

Yesterday I spent the day at Grandma’s. It’s so quiet there. Did you know I went to my Grammy’s in Iowa this weekend? It was very loud there and there were other kids around.  (They say this girl Dawn is my cousin, but all I know is that she kept trying to crawl in my carseat! And Aunt Chelle bought me a red hat to wear for Christmas! I looked pretty cute if I do say so myself.)  Anyway, yesterday I went to Grandma Grandt’s and it started to snow! A Lot!  Daddy came to get me and he said it took him almost an hour to come from church – it’s usually a long ride for me, but I know it’s not that long (although I’m not sure what an “hour” is).  Mommy called when she left work and it was a really long time before I saw her.  Daddy had dinner with Grandma and Grandpa, and I had a nice dinner.  Then we played for along time. I spent most of the day telling Grandma about my weekend, but she really acts like she doesn’t know what I’m saying.  I don’t know why, because I make perfect sense to me.  And then when Daddy came I tried to tell him all the things I’d done yesterday, but he just kept smiling at me and telling me I sounded so cute.  “Cute”?  Then he said he had to record me, whatever that is, on his small black thing he carries around, so that Mommy could hear me.  I just kept telling him that I’d had fun, but he thought it was the coolest thing in the world.

Finally we went home. It was very cold and these white things kept falling on me on the way to the car.  And the wind! It was sneaking under my cover-thingy, no matter what Daddy tried.  But the ride home was much longer than it usually takes us.  I fell asleep for a little while, but when I woke up we were still in the car!

Right after we got home, Mommy came home. She looked so tired and cranky.  I think she needed a nap. I know I always look better after a nap.  But she fed me, then ate some dinner herself, before we sat and watched that show she likes where everyone is really big.  Mommy told me that those people worked really hard to get healthy, so she was working hard, too, so she could be healthy for me.  I don’t know what “healthy” means, but if it makes Mommy happy, then I’m happy. I like it when she smiles at me.

My sister desperately needs any and all prayers.  She is currently trying to adjust after leaving her abusive boyfriend and trying to establish custody of her kids.  That’s all I can say, but I had a very scary weekend in Iowa. Email me for details.