I have spent the last several months thinking about things that I want to do, what I should have done, etc.  I found a company that will educate you on how to teach English as a second language - IN PRAGUE!  And they guarantee placement in several countries throughout Europe and Asia.  I wish I had taken advantage of these opportunities.  Now I fear that I never will be able to.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6 NKJV

This has always been one of my absolute favorite bible verses. The last few days I’ve been thinking about it a lot. The first part has become almost a litany or a mantra in my head: Trust in the Lord… Lean NOT on your own understanding. Trust in the lord… lean not on your own understanding. trust in the lord… lean NOT on your own understanding.”

With the loss of this 2nd child, I was so angry and so lost. All I could say “I just don’t understand. I just don’t understand.” Then as I was going to bed the other night, this verse came into my head. “Lean not on your own understanding.” It’s not for me to understand. I just have to “trust in the Lord… and HE shall direct [my] paths.”

I have trust in the Lord. He understands what is right and what is needed. I may not understand, but as long as I trust that He knows and He understands and He guides… all is well.